Hello all! I don’t know what to do for my introduction paragraph, so I’m just going to start I guess.
Monday was pretty bad anxiety-wise, though that was mostly
my own fault. I was still feeling a little sick from the rough weekend so I
stayed home from class and just watched the Zoom meeting for both that and the
R-study group. A lot of people have been moving to online so it all worked out,
and I got all my homework done, which was nice. I sadly didn’t take many notes
on what happened, so I can’t really remember what I worked on in between then
and the lab meeting, but hey, what can you do, right? Sara still wasn’t there,
but that makes sense since she is still recovering. The stats guy in our lab
actually gave his presentation on SNRPs and ASD oxytocin levels, which was
interesting, though it ended the lab pretty early which threw me off a even
more. It was just kind of a weird day, you know?
Tuesday was a little more normal and a lot better. I actually
started the day right because I ‘rediscovered’ that my rain coat had little
thumb holes and it just made me so happy that I was grinning on my walk to and
from institute. We got a lot of rain so I decided it was a good idea to grab
the coat, and low and behold, I was just so happy to see the thumb holes that
it put me in a good mood. I know it’s silly, but it happened. Institute was a
little less fun since I had to teach part of the lesson because the teacher
thought it was a good idea and I don’t like that, but we did it anyways. I was
just glad I didn’t have to be the spokesperson for the group. I just had to
rally all the guys (only girl in the group) to focus on the matter at hand
instead of all their side stories. After Institute, I cam back home and ran
into Kayla. She wanted a buddy to walk around with, so I agreed to a walk, and
it was pretty fun. I actually ended up hanging out with a lot of my roommates
that day, so that was something. I also ended up working on some research stuff
to prep for Thursday, and ended up accepting a calling.
Wednesday was the same old, same old. No one showed up to TA
hours, I had to be an adult and do things I was procrastinating on. But hey, I
went out of the house with Allie and hung out with my roommates when I wasn’t
busy cleaning up my room and the like. I even got to watch one of the old
Manhunts with Annie (the one where Dream wears BadBoyHalo’s skin). It was a
pretty chill day, which was nice.
On Thursday, I had time to write for a long while before
institute started, which was a really big relief if I’m honest. I’ve been wanting
to work on stuff for a while. Allie met Dallin more directly (as in they
socialized) that day in institute. Institute was just weird. The teacher brought
her parents there for some reason, she tried drawing a really weird armored
person on the board, and the emergency/fire alarm went off at the end of class
ending it ten minutes early. Like I said. Weird. After a quick lunch with Allie,
I was back on campus working in the lab. It went a lot better that day than
last time, and I can probably start as soon as I confirm that thickness we’re
mounting the brain tissue at which means setting up a meeting with Lexi… but
she’s currently gone this weekend so that’s something to think about next week,
I think. After working in the lab, I walked down to hang out with Maren for a
while: we played Sky for a little bit, watched some youtube videos we wanted to
show of to each other, and then I watched her play the new Metroid game for a
while, which was pretty cool.
Friday saw me actually going into class in person . There
were only around sixteen out of the thirty people there so it was just plain
weird. I hung around on campus to wait for the “Hub Lunch” with my roommates
and some of Kenzie’s friends who are guys. One of them was alright and we talked
about Minecraft for a while which was awesome, but the other guy did not pass
the vibe check and just made me anxious so I ended up leaving early. Anxiety
was not my friend that day, and sticking around was a guaranteed way to lead to
a shut down if I wasn’t careful. Apparently it got bad after I left according
to Allie since she agrees with me about the ‘not passing vibe check’ guy. I
ended up hiding under my weighted blanket for three-ish hours after that along
with some anxiety stuff to try and calm down. Maybe Fridays are no longer good
anxiety days—that seems to be a reoccurring theme. Anyways, Kenzie invited the
guys over for more time and I could hear them upstairs, so I didn’t emerge
until Allie came back and told me people were gone. I also answered a phone call
with Dallin, which led to plans for today (Saturday) around 1:00, so hopefully that
works out nice??? I still don’t know how I feel about everything, and honestly,
I’m not trying to think about it because it is making me anxious. BUT… Allie
and I picked up Karin from work so I got to meet her puppy!!!!!!! Digby is such
a good boy and I love him already. It was so nice to just pet a dog and it
calmed me right down, which was sorely needed. I wasn’t even that worked up
when Kenzie’s boys came over again late into the night to stay for a while. Was
I irritable? Yes. Yes I was, but I didn’t lose it like I would have earlier, so
hey, progress. And I got to pet a dog. All the pets!!!!!
Anyways, that was my week. Hopefully things go well today,
though it is another high anxiety day again, it is better than it was yesterday
and I’ve got plans. We have inspection on Monday, which sucks, since I also
have therapy at home and we don’t know when people will show up to ‘inspect’ so
I might need to figure out plans, but that’s a problem that can be worried
about after hanging out with Dallin, I think. I’m going to stop thinking about
that now and publish this, so until next time… bye.
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